The rise after the fall …

Photo by daniar ainun on Unsplash

Thank you to those of you who took the time to read my last (July) newsletter. It was a little different than my usual writings, a little more real. A little more vulnerable. Thank you for your check-ins, your ‘how are yous?!’, and your ‘thinking of yous’. I loved them … and remembered why I am so grateful to know you. 

One of my favourite reach outs came from a beautiful blue haired friend of mine, who shared a quote that has stayed with me, 

"Let me fall if I must. The one I am becoming will catch me.”  

attributed to Baal Shem Tov, an 18th-century Jewish mystic

Photo by Alexander Mass on Unsplash

This quote speaks to a powerful concept found in both ancient Hasidic tradition and modern psychology: before a higher, more evolved state of being can emerge, the old state has to collapse.

This collapse, this fall is not a failure. It is a prerequisite. A descent for the sake of an ascent.

In Hasidic Judaism, this fall and the ensuing evolution is tied to the soul’s higher purpose and trusting the fall is to trust that God and your soul are guiding your spiritual growth. 

In modern psychology, the person catching you is your future self. 

Both perspectives see the act of struggling, falling, and failing as being necessary to build resilience, wisdom, courage and strength to survive the challenge. Chances are high, there will be more than one. 

As someone who recently faltered, I feel so much healthier and stronger for having the courage to let go and find my way through it. This is why I will never stop encouraging my clients to face and understand their fears and stuck places. Our old, outmoded beliefs keeping us stuck have to crumble. 

Photo by Wallace Bent on Unsplash

Crumble so we can make space for a new foundation based on our values, our strengths, and most importantly, trust and love in ourselves. So we can create the life we want. 

The life we want will ask each of us to struggle, learn and grow. Along the way, we will cry, laugh, feel love, experience loss, feel awe, gratitude, confusion, get to a point where we think it’s all impossible and yet, get up and try again. 

Ironically, we need the fall. In this day and age, we will often do anything to avoid falling or failure. But we need the fall to learn to see what is already here. Who is already here. Most importantly, what resources we already have inside of ourselves.

“This is the teaching of all mystics: that the function of suffering is to return us to the ecstasy of the Divine.

So when the love runs away, or the toxins spread; when anxiety flares, or the fire takes it all, whatchya gonna do? Dig deep enough to find the Divinity in it—the beauty, the possible utility. Do it as soon as you can. You can train your mind to respond like this, without hesitation. …  When the crops cash in, when the love comes, when the Joy is revealed—immediately and passionately appreciate it.”

 — Danielle LaPorte

Then, we need to rise. Just like spring after winter and the morning light that peeks in after the solitude of the dark. Just like breathing. Falling and rising are natural. They are essential.

I often see falling is essential and hard. But I have learned that I can do things to cushion my fall. To reduce the time falling. The time feeling a bit (ok, maybe a lot) like flattened road kill.

I can practise:

• Disciplining myself to not go into a self-induced shame and regret spiral

• Disciplining myself to be accountable but reminding myself that whatever ‘this is’, it is not the only thing that defines me

• Leaning into compassion and empathy for myself, almost as much as for others (this is hard!)

• Reminding myself that I have survived much and more

• Sticking with small, manageable next action steps and not drowning in the overwhelm

• Reaching out and asking for a variety of help, some of it caring, some of it expert

• Not feeling like I have to clean things up perfectly

• Seeing the beauty and the learnings amidst the discomfort

And doing these helps me bounce back. Because it’s worth it. Because I am worth it.

And in case you are wondering … because you are worth it. Because you bring something essential and unique to this world that needs to be expressed.

Photo by Dương Trần Quốc on Unsplash

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice—

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do—

determined to save

the only life you could save.

— Mary Oliver

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

If this resonates, you’re already doing the work.

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